How I Lost 4kg in 1 Week Muffdiving

Screw the low carb, high protein diet! If you’re serious about weight loss you must implement the no carb, no protein, deepwater muffdiver’s diet! I accidentally stumbled upon this excellent recipe over a decade ago. I’d just come across the most pristine shaved delicious oval office of all time whilst TO READ ON SUBSCRIBE AND BECOME A PATREON.

  • Joker Jolly

    4000 cal deficit is the worst advice you could give. Thats guaranteed to mess up ones metabolism. And you definitely dont want to do that for weeks at a time. It can take months/years to bring the metabolism back to normal after that damage.

    Loosing weight is done slowly at a deficit of a few hundred cals per day. Educate yourself before taking random nutrition advice from a travel blog.

    • Harald Baldr

      The problem with your few hundred cals per day strategy is that few people have the willpower to to stick with such a program long term. They will crack before week two without having lost even 1 kg.

      If you’re gonna do something, do it hardcore and fast for instant results. i.e. The Muff Diet

  • Brianmark

    I love the story. Lots of sex burns calories. Where did you meet the girl in Bali? I was there an the place is loaded with drunk Aussies! I wouldn’t worry that too much sex and not enough food is bad for your health as Joker Jolly suggests.

    • Harald Baldr

      Met in Paddy’s pub. Yes it was full of Aussies chanting oi oi oi. But I didn’t let that mess up my strict diet 😉

  • Bjorn Curley

    So true.. While banging has its ‘anatomical limits’, I could go on muffing almost forever if it’s one of those irresistibly pristine yonis. Though I never calculated how much weight I may have ever lost doing this, I was always left with the certain knowledge that I had visibly trimmed down after a day or more shacked up with a sensual accomplice since, as you say, there’s not much eating or drinking going on during such extended sexscapades, except for the occasional beer or snack. Most of those sessions are just flowing hours lounging in bed vaguely noticing time pass back and forth between day and night. It’s times like this that I would hear the words of Jim Morrison pass through my head, “you know the day destroys a night, night divides a day..”
    Though following such events, since they usually occurred in places with cuisines I adore, like Thailand, Malaysia, or Indonesia, I would always re-gain the weight I lost by a ravenous return to the indulgence of culinary pleasures. Not much I would modify on that front since, for me, muff, chillies, and beer are an ecstatic trinity I’ll never compromise.
    I love how you threw Nietzsche into this! Good move, invoking the underlying existential relevance of such an original ventures..
    And I yearn for some o them Bali shroom shakes again! Fo shizzel..

  • Harald Baldr

    Amazing! I shall add those benefits to the next muffarticle

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