When Her Juices Are Overflowing but You’re too Dumb to Dive in

Everyone have stories of missed opportunities with the opposite sex. Few dare share them. Let’s change that. You learn more from analyzing failure than success. Share your worst #Muffailures in the comment section


5. Wet Brazilian Student (22)

Back when I was a University lecturer, I rocked up to work one morning only to to see a Brazilian girl waiting in my office. She wore dark red lipstick, a skirt and a push up bra. I sat down behind my desk and asked what she was doing there? She proceeded to hand me a letter drenched in perfume and sprinkled with glitter. It relayed the story of how we were just two random people who’d met in this big lonely world. I said thank you and eagerly awaited where she was going with this. Suddenly she lent forward exposing the top half of her breasts. With a big sensual smile and what could’ve been a perfect voiceover for Marilyn Monroe’s Mr. President speech, she said:

I just want you to know I will do anything, and I DO MEAN AAANYTHING, for you!

After a catwalk worthy 180 spin up from the chair she slowly retreated out of my office. In the coming days she wrote several e-mails professing her undying affection for me. She was begging to get broken in.

In hindsight it was a royal f*ck up not acquiescing. I vividly remember never really even entertaining the thought. In the end I drove her away by telling her how inappropriate her behavior was. Of course her supposed undying affection now turned into blind hatred. She never spoke to me or even walked past me in the hallways again.

LESSON: Bang for the story! A well played conquest to look back upon is priceless. Stupidity is not!

  • FredericBastiat

    The worst thing that ever happened to me was this:
    A female friend of mine used to share a flat with two gay guys. She was a so-called “fag hag”, a heterosexual woman who likes hanging around gay men.
    She took me to a gay bar with her roommates and another hot, heterosexual girl, who gave me compliments. (Most girls at gay bars are heterosexual and single, and it’s the perfect place for picking up girls since they will assume you are gay.)
    Afterwards we went home to their place, and the other girl was suddenly sitting there in her underwear (the others said she sometimes does that when she’s drunk).
    One of the gay guys (they did not seem gay, they were quite manly) was suddenly also sitting there in his boxers.
    And then my friend suggested: “We could have a blowjob contest!”
    So… I could have been blown by both of these hot girls…
    What was my answer to this?
    “I’m definitely not going to blow anyone!”
    It took me until the following day (when I was sober again) to realize what I had done… That situation was just beyond my reality at that time…

    • Harald Baldr

      Bet you regret that one now. Thanks for sharing though 😉

  • PeteyBrian

    My list wouldn’t be limited to only 5… Top 25 to start! Lol.

    • Harald Baldr

      So let’s hear the worst one 😉

  • Vorkuta

    I had one that still haunts me years later.
    I was in Bucharest on New Year’s eve and bumped into a beautiful Romanian girl about 23 years old, perfect English. We chatted in a toilet queue and parted. I boarded a train to the airport

    • Harald Baldr

      Damn, every man’s dream was handed to you on a silver plate!

      I’m ashamed to say I’d most likely do exactly the same though.

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